Another morning. This morning has been tough. As I continue my search for gainful employment, I keep going over and over in my head, trying to understand why I lost my job. I know that is mentally cutting myself. I know it’s not logical but that’s what it is. There, I have said it. It FREAKING HURTS!! I know I need to move on but it is going to take time. And the irony strikes me. As humans, we are always surprised when someone behaves illogically. And as humans, we conveniently forget that all of us live off our emotions.
Yes, I am using this as an excuse to sit in front of the tv and watch back to back episodes of The Office. Yes, I am not ashamed to admit I have rummaged through my kids’ rooms and devoured their secret stash of chocolate.
As I ride this emotional rollercoaster of anger, hurt, depression, anger and sadness, I realize one thing. I WILL COME OUT OF THIS STRONGER!
But, just not yet. Let me finish that last chocolate chip cookie and the leftover wine. Let me be compassionate towards myself.
And that simply might be the new beginning I need.