Why the fear?


So, I made the decision years ago. Last month I took a momentous step of checking out places and found one that will fit my needs. I know I need to make a change. I know it will be better for me – in the sense better than where I am in my life now. I hate my situation. It feels oppressive – like a heavy weight on my shoulders that just cannot be lifted. The thought of being alone, out of these constraints is so inviting. It beckons me. But then, I am unable to form the words and say them  – that I want out. What will my family say? The vitriol that will follow – can I handle that? I know it will be a very small price to pay for my freedom, my peace of mind. Why then, the fear? Why then, the inability to act? Why am I frozen, paralyzed?

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