My son is a fencer. He didn’t want to participate in a fencing tournament because another kid whom he always lost to was going to be in it. I explained to my son that he needed to get out of this mindset – that if he competes against this boy he will lose because he has always lost to him in the past and so will always lose to him. I sternly told him to stop thinking like that. Of course he argued back that this was the truth. I didn’t pursue this topic with him anymore after this.
Later on, I did my usual self-introspection. I realized I was advising my son but was I not doing the same thing? Every time I looked back on my life, all that stood out were the regrets, the failures. I had cut myself so deep mentally that I was reluctant to try anything new because I knew I would fail.I had written the verdict against myself. This had become my mindset. When I couldn’t get out of this, how could I teach my son not to develop a negative mindset?